12 MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE IN DATING AND HOW YOU CAN AVOID THEM. By Adewale Kelvin. Peter
Hello friends, we talked about the dating mistakes men make the last time out, but, due to pressures from our readers, I guess its only natural to show something from the women’s angle. So let’s see… you have had one great date with this guy ( in your opinion) but he did not call you up the next day or day after or maybe not at all. You summon the courage to call him up. He gives you some excuse and promises to change. But still nothing from him and all of a sudden, you realize that something is wrong again(?).Yes, you are right, My dear, something is wrong somewhere. So let us examine some of the mistakes women make when dating guys….
1.) LOOKING FOR A FAIRY TALE RELATIONSHIP
No, you are not a fairy. And he ‘s not either. Besides, the world we live in is hardly utopia. So why are you looking for a fairy tale relationship? Its for fairyland. Okay?
Do know that every relationship has its rough patches and you have to work at making it work. So setting out and believing it must be fairy tale things all the way is a NO, NO.
2.) A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP IS NOT EASY
If you think that a perfect relationship should be easy, then you are so wrong. You need to look out for things that can make it perfect and build on it. That is what makes relationship perfect- the amount of effort and hard work you are willing to put in to make it perfect.
3.) NOT TOO AVAILABLE, NOT TOO HARD TO GET
Do not make your self too available. But don’t be too hard to get. If you are too available, he would ride over you rough shod and you may not really count for much in his eyes at the end. Yeah, its okay to listen to him, to run when he calls, but don’t make it happen every time, figure out how to draw the line and stand on your own sometimes. At the same time , don’t play too hard to get, or else, he may think you are not interested and move on. Don’t forget you are not the only woman in town. A lot of women have lost what could have been a promising relationship by playing too hard to get.
4.) DON’T SLEEP WITH HIM ON FIRST DATE!
WHATEVER YOU DO, PLEASE RESPECT YOURSELF, even if he is the King of ‘Arabia’, don’t sleep with him on the first date, unless you just want to be a one night stand to him or something. If you are looking for a steady relationship, sleeping with him on first date is not a positive advantage. Yeah, if an awesome moment presents itself, you may yield to a goodnight kiss. But that’s where it should end. Goodnight and go to bed solo.
5.) LEAVE YOUR PAST BEHIND YOU
Of course, you may have told yourself many times over that all men are the same. But, have you ever asked yourself which of your past relationships have you not let go of. Perhaps, all of it. Please, let the past stay where it should be- the past. Each man is a peculiar being, be open to new things. If you know deep in your mind that you are not yet truly over your last relationship, don’t jump into another one. Take time to evacuate your mind, so that the ghost of the last one would not choke this one.
6.) LEAVE THE SUBJECT ‘SEX’ ALONE
You are not the only one who has sex on your mind. So relax and don’t mention it, even in passing, okay? Plenty of time to talk sex later. Just concentrate on getting the hang of him and the date first. However, a goodnight kiss is not out of place, but when it is about to go farther, gently extricate yourself and firmly maintain that you don’t have sex on the first date. Not before, not earlier.
7.) MY DEAR, LOVE YOURSELF
Loving yourself is the greatest love of all. Because, how can you appreciate someone else’s love and appreciation of you if you don’t love yourself first. The tendency is for you to subconsciously fall into the wrong relationships if you don’t love yourself.
8.) DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR EX.
Don’t talk about your ex in whatever form, you may do that later or better still , never. The new guy wants to step into a clean and fresh relationship, and if I were him, am sure I DONT want to start by cleaning up someone else’s mess. So let the talk of your ex be a never thing – a bygone. Good riddance, if you please.
9.) BE REALISTIC IN YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Please, do not build a list of unrealistic expectations. And don’t go picking faults with every guy that comes along. Understand that everyone comes with s fault or tow or more. Meanwhile, you may do a checklist of what you can compromise in a man and what you can never take. However, when you do meet someone who sweeps you up your feet but does not meet your standard, be willing to give him a chance.
10.) BE PATIENT
Yes, you need to be patient. Love takes time to build and grow. So even if he makes you n swoon from the first date, don’t tell him you love him yet. Or else, you’ll sound like the desperate or the clingy type. So he’s likely to run away faster than you think. Instead, let him earn it. Let it grow and build up. Let it become an obvious thing to the extent that, it is not out of place for both of you to say it together almost simultaneously.
- TALKING TOO MUCH. Never say more than necessary. Don’t talk uncontrollably that you would expose unecessary details about you and dont speak ill of others as it will surely boomerang to haunt you in your new found relationship.
- BE SUPORTIVE: In a surprising manner, identify where your man is having crisis or lapses and surprise him with your supports such that he would never be ready to let you go nor would he want to joke with you. Let him know you are here to build a life with him from the rubbles and that you are not in his life only when food is ready. Contrary to what most people say, there are many ways to win a man’s heart and as such is investing in his life such that he would instantly take you as his second mother after his biological mother and second to non.
Your comments welcome.